Black Widow – Leslie Gray Streeter

I’m starting to really enjoy reading books—oftentimes memoirs—written by journalists or reporters or magazine contributors. That’s probably because, not only are they well-written, but also because I, myself, have started writing for my university’s main magazine and am loving the experience. The process is hard—a lot of editing and researching to be done—but it makes me feel like I’m actually learning to write better and, of course, has made me develop more respect and admiration for professional writers.

Leslie Gray Streeter is such a writer. She writes a column, à la Carrie Bradshaw, fun and quirky, but not really since she is not having sex until marriage. She’s had a couple of bad relationships, so in the love department there is usually little meaningful development. That is, until she reunites with Scott, a former classmate whom she marries and who eventually dies from a heart attack. This is more than a story about grief, though that is, quite certainly, a main aspect. It’s also a love story, as James Patterson so rightly states in his blurb of the book. It’s also about building a modern family and struggling to keep said family. Grit. Determination. Support. Not many older women would want their mothers around, but Leslie knows when she needs help and she’s learning to ask for it and accept it.

Though I have never lost a husband or someone who I had an intimate relationship with, I related tremendously with Leslie’s motherhood experience. Not because I have a kid myself—not yet—but because my father passed away when I was a baby, as is the case for Brooks, Scott and Leslie’s baby. I was very touched by how worried Leslie was about Brooks—how he might grow up feeling a certain way about not having a father—and how she tried to do her best being strong for the both of them. I don’t know how Brooks will feel when he will be old enough to understand what loneliness is and wonder about what his life would have been like if he had had a father to care for him, but I think that with a mother like Leslie he will be just fine.

Beautiful.

Thank you Hachette Book Group Canada for a copy in exchange for a review.

Negative Review: Chasing Wonder – Ginger Stache

Sometimes I know I have matured through the books that I pick up and enjoy. For instance, two years ago, I started reading a lot of memoirs, and though I would read them before—here and there—I would choose them very carefully and they were mostly from celebrities that I was familiar with. Now, I pretty much crave them, along with fiction novels. I have also started reading more adult fiction, which is a genre I typically stayed away from in favour of Young Adult and Middle Grade fiction.

Chasing Wonder: Small Steps Toward a Life of Big Adventures is not a book I would have held in my hands three years ago. Adventure, who needs adventure? I have a college degree to attend to, and a job on campus, and a hobby that steals my time (not that I mind). It’s easy for me to remember what my life was like three years ago, because nothing really happened, so remembering one specific day was like remembering the entire year.

So I am happy with myself for doing steps toward, yes, chasing wonder so to speak, and one of them includes reading this book. Now, although I think the world does need books like this one, I don’t think this one particular book was needed. That’s harsh, I know, I don’t typically tell readers that a book’s existence has little importance, especially not when I start my reviews in such a positive manner, but that is how I feel right now. Though the author has good intentions—she certainly wants us to enjoy life and face our fears and all that stuff—her execution can only be characterized as superficial.

This book actually reminded me a lot of Admiral William H. McRaven’s latest nonfiction The Hero Code, in the sense that the author discusses one theme and shows some examples to illustrate that. I found great meaning in Admiral McRaven’s publication, but in Stache’s I only found rushing. Though she does give examples from her own personal life that show us she’s overcome obstacles, those examples are typically super short and, sometimes, are simply enumerated, as though an afterthought. Not only that, but the way she speaks about fear-related topics is quite… and here I want to say immature but that’s a strange word to use for a book that means so well so I’ll default to superficial, once again. Predictable, too.

Here is a random quote that illustrates what I’m trying to say. It’s random because there are quite a lot of these. Warning: she uses a LOT of adjectives throughout the book.

I am certainly nothing special, but I remember always believing that God had something wonderful and very specific planned just for me. But here is what you may not know—He has all these things for you too. You weren’t born just to fade into the background. God loves you just as much. And he has amazing adventures for YOU. – page 13

Ugh. I mean thank you for saying those things, that’s very nice, but that’s not very convincing, and throughout the book I felt like there was more telling of obvious, everyone-knows-that things and little actual showing (again, because of the short examples that lacked depth). Overall, this is a self-help that lacks edge or grit or whatever gives something authority and prevents you from cringing. And my reaction is certainly not due to all the God talk. In fact, I adored Bamboozled by Jesus. That shit convinced me and there were lots of Bible references. It had spunk, something this book could have used a lot more of.

Thank you Hachette Book Group Canada for the copy in exchange for a review.

The Defining Decade (Updated Edition) – Meg Jay

This is my second time reading Meg Jay’s book written for twenty-year-olds, but my first time trying the updated edition. The first time I read it – over a year ago – was around the beginning of the lockdown and my future was more uncertain than ever. I really needed this book. Life has not necessarily gone to ‘‘normal’’ yet: in-person learning has not started yet, the mask is still a must, 2 m distance a necessity and social events have not all been translated to in person. But I am in a better place with regards to how I feel about my future. I’m still uncertain about it – and I do wish I could change that since I’m graduating soon – but I am feeling more hopeful about the choices that I will have to make and feel more ready to make them.

This book helped me feel more confident about where I am and validated my feelings of not knowing where I belong, where I’m meant to go and with whom I’m meant to connect. A lot of twentysomethings, as Dr. Jay states, are confused. Not only that, but she says that confusion is pretty normal at this state of our lives, when our brains are not even fully developed yet and possibly won’t be until we turn thirty. That is a scary thing to hear but also liberating in a way. It means that chances are I’m going to remain confused for quite a bit about various things. But the good thing about it is that there is so much I, and every other twenty-four-year-old, can learn in this period. According to Meg Jay, this is the it period where if we want to change something about ourselves – our personalities – we just might and it doesn’t have to take everything from us to do that.

Initially, when I read the unedited edition, I felt like the twenties were the worst period to be in. Possibly because I’m mentally healthier and more positive about the present and future, I feel differently about my twenties. When I read it the first time, I focused on everything I didn’t have – hadn’t graduated yet, hadn’t started my master’s, didn’t feel hopeful about dating, was still friends with people I should have moved on from a long time ago, felt a lot of anxiety about the day-to-day life and was working somewhere that brought me little to no happiness anymore. I was a mess, truly. I’m cleaning myself up, and guess what, I can do that because my brain is receptive to change. I’m finishing my master’s in less than a year, planning to move out of my mom’s place and hoping to get involved in clubs and associations to make more social memories before getting my diploma. I’m in a period of transition – like a lot of twenty-year-olds are, and although that’s super scary, it’s completely normal and I’m ready to face my fears.

Thank you Hachette Book Group Canada for the copy in exchange for an honest review.

The Hero Code – Admiral Willian H. McRaven

Humor is one of the most important qualities for any hero. If you want to show courage, laugh in the face of danger. If you want to show humility, laugh at yourself.

This is exactly the kind of book that I needed right now, a book that would encourage me to be stronger, to be moral and to choose happiness every day. I can be quick to anger, sensitive and sometimes it’s just really hard to choose happiness, to smile, to forgive, especially when the other person never apologized and never asked for me to forgive them. It’s been especially hard during this pandemic. It felt like before there were so many distractions, and if I wasn’t studying or working, then I was reading and so I rarely took the time to think about my actions and wonder if I am who I aim to be and if I do any good in this world.

Admiral William H. McRaven challenges us to be strong, to not give in or give up. He is spot on on a lot of things, especially when he discusses what drives us and motivates us. It’s true that in some cases, anger, resentment and other negative emotions can push us to do something, to act, and the things we accomplish with those emotions can sometimes be good, but these feelings will not do us any good in the long run. Change, action, has to come from a good place, a positive place, and we need to let ourselves be motivated by things like hope, faith, love, kindness. It’s a hard thing to do. I wholly believe that happiness is a choice, as is goodness, as is love and everything else. As the author said, sometimes it’s easier to let ourselves be led by our negative emotions and our impulses but if we follow his established Hero Code, we might just become stronger and lead a more meaningful life. We might become heroes ourselves.

One thing that I really like about this author is that he doesn’t distinguish between heroes. Yes, some people have qualities that allow for greater change, but it doesn’t mean that this person is better than any other or a stronger hero. There needs not be a hierarchy of heroes. Like the Avengers, there are many of them, and individually they can all make quite a lot of noise and turn things around, but they act together for a reason, and the people who do the administrative tasks, in the background, are heroes too. I used to think that to make an impact on this planet I needed to go to the best school, get the highest of degrees and the best of jobs and volunteer at the best of organizations, but maybe I need to rethink all of that and remove some of that pressure I put on myself. The one thing Admiral McRaven mentions that’s probably the hardest to accomplish is the idea of giving without expecting anything in return. Because, truth is, over time, not receiving anything can be frustrating and lead to resentment. But there’s also the chance that we might not receive exactly what we’ve given, but something else entirely. Above all, the truest of heroes acts out of a sense of duty.

Here are the themes he discusses which make The Hero Code:

1. Courage

2. Humility

3. Sacrifice

4. Integrity

5. Compassion

6. Perseverance

7. Duty

8. Hope

9. Humor

10. Forgiveness

Absolutely recommended, unless for some reason you cannot stand war stories.

All the Colors Came Out – Kate Fagan

This book has the most beautiful cover I’ve seen this year. It’s more astounding in real life, so if you ever get the chance to get your hands on the hardcover copy, go for it. Having read Kate Fagan’s former book – What Made Maddy Run – I was very interested in this book, particularly because she discusses herself and her family, whereas her first book focuses on another family entirely and one particular tragic event.

Both are good, honestly, but very different. In All the Colors Came Out, Kate Fagan talks mainly about her father who was diagnosed with ALS a couple of years ago, and chronicles everything that happened after the diagnosis until the day he dies from the illness. She also reflects on many childhood memories and tells us what it was like to grow up with a father like hers and what lead to their distancing later in life.

Seeing Kate Fagan try to reconnect with her dying father was very beautiful. Spending time with her family and writing about it also made her understand her own mother and wife better. Her sister is not mentioned as much, but with reason since she is busy raising kids and does not live with her father anymore. Kate, on the other hand, decided to spend half the time with her father and half with her wife, so she can take care of him and make up for all the times she prioritized her career over her family.

Although this is a short nonfiction book, with less than two hundred pages, it is not the type of book you can easily read in an afternoon or one sitting. It may be short, but it is filled with experience, wisdom, regret, hope, love, understanding, lessons and sadness. Normally, a book this size would take me an entire day to read at most, but I’ve spent the last three days reading it little by little. There is no clear ‘‘storyline’’ per se, even if it’s divided in multiple parts. At times it feels random, like Kate wrote all that was on her mind out of order. At times the chapters also feel like blog posts, barely edited, just Kate and what’s cursing through her. Reflection after reflection. But one thing it always is is authentic. I wasn’t always very happy with Kate, because some of the things she says and does are selfish or childish and I expected better from a grown woman, but what softened me was seeing how well Kate tried to understand her own shortcomings and how she maybe didn’t deserve me being so hard on her.

I feel honoured to have had the chance to get to know Kate’s father and Kate herself better. Though I cannot compare this to anything I’ve read before, I think you’ll like Kate’s writing style and personality if you enjoyed Shrill by Lindy West.

Thank you Hachette Book Group Canada for the copy in exchange for a review.

I Want to Be Where the Normal People Are – Rachel Bloom

I felt similarly reading this memoir—or collection of essays, rather—to reading Ali Wong’s. Both Ali Wong and Rachel Bloom are comedians in their own respective ways. Both of these women are straight-forward and do not censor themselves when discussing sex and other such topics. I like when authors don’t beat around the bush. But somehow neither Rachel Bloom’s nor Ali Wong’s humor is for me. I don’t find bullying or excrement particularly funny. To me, making jokes regarding those—especially the toilet-related ones—seem rather immature. As much as I respect Rachel Bloom’s assertiveness and openness through writing, I have to say I do not find her very mature or amusing. I’m mainly saying the last point because while she entertained me at times, she did not make me laugh the way Kevin Hart, Tiffany Haddish and Yvonne Orji are able to.

And since this is a collection of supposedly humorous essays and chapters, not laughing or chuckling actually made me feel like an outsider, which is funny because that’s how Rachel Bloom felt growing up and still feels today. There were some chapters that were more serious that resonated with me, for instance when she discusses her experiences at university, the comedy club and with men. My favourite chapter was the one in which she writes about feeling like there is a relationship curse put on her when she was younger. While, not all chapters worked for me, I have to give it to Rachel Bloom: she doesn’t lack originality.

This is a pretty unconventional non-fiction work, because it’s filled with non-traditional stuff. To give you an idea, Rachel Bloom wrote down her LinkedIn profile, built a sort of amusement park for adults and then described it, and even created a short musical for us. While I did not finish Ali Wong’s memoir, I did finish Rachel Bloom’s work and the reason for that is that it reads fast and it’s so diverse in content that even though I didn’t find it particularly funny or meaningful most of the time, I was still curious to know what the next chapter would hold. I do recommend it if you’re a Rachel Bloom fan. I didn’t know who she was prior to picking this up, and clearly she’s not the right comedian for me, but if you feel differently you might love this!

Thank you Hachette Book Group Canada for the copy in exchange for a review.

You’ll Never Believe What Happened to Lacey – Amber Ruffin & Lacey Lamar

This is a book unlike any I’ve read before. I have, of course, read books—both fiction and non-fiction—about race relations and racism, but nothing quite like this. As Amber mentions, there is no clear storyline, and many of these stories are quite out-of-this-world. Quite insane, and yet I believe that they have happened. In this collection of personal stories, Amber is sharing many moments in her and her sister Lacey’s lives, but mainly her sister’s. These stories all have a common theme: racism. Some are more predictable than others. Some are short, others longer. Some are sad, others so terribly ridiculous that you have to laugh. You have to.

Lacey shares a little as well, but what I liked the most about these two sisters as writers was their back-and-forth: Amber teasing her sister and Lacey doing the same. It’s definitely one of the things that make this book unique. I could feel their connection through the pages, and although I had never heard any of them speaking before prior to reading this book, I could easily imagine what their voices would sound like. I’m happy to have found a new comedian to listen to and I feel honoured to have had the chance to understand Lacey Lamar’s life better.

I admire her courage, especially when it came to dealing with racism at her work places. At times, she said something. At other times, she would walk away. Mainly though, she spoke up… and got fired. Now, that is scary to me. I sometimes tolerate disrespect because I don’t want to rock the boat and because I don’t always trust how things will come out of my mouth and the reactions those words will engender in others. But Lacey’s bravery is inspiring me to speak up more often and to understand when enough is enough and not feel bad for leaving a place that did not value me as a whole human being.

Thank you Hachette Book Group Canada for the copy in exchange for an honest review!

Bamboozled By Jesus – Yvonne Orji

I feel like fate brought me to this book, which is oh-so-appropriate, considering this book’s premise and its many positive messages. I initially became interested in it because, for the past few months, I rekindled and further developed a relationship with God. I used to pray often when I was younger, and believe in God’s presence in my life, but somewhere along the way, I stopped believing and praying (unless I was alone at night and got really, really scared). My and God’s relationship is only at its beginnings though, so I thought that by reading this book, I would get to know Him and the author better. It’s only when I actually opened it that I realized that it was written by the actress who plays Molly’s character in the TV show Insecure, which is such an amazing series. Molly’s character spoke to me on so many levels that I knew before I even read the first page that I would really like this book.

I didn’t know, however, that it would become one of the best books I’ve read all year. From the get-go, Yvonne is candid, confident and a hella amazing writer. I am a little sorry to say that I’m surprised. It’s not that I assume all entertainers to be amateur writers or to use ghost-writers, but Yvonne not only uses vocabulary in a very appropriate way and shapes sentences that flow very well, she does that WHILE letting her personality shine through. Sometimes she’s more formal, other times a little more relaxed. Sometimes she shares professional stories, other times more casual or personal ones. She does all of this while being herself and speaking to us as though we are right in front of her and she already knows we are worthy of her time and wisdom. It started slow for me, as I haven’t read a Christian book in a long time, but by the end of it, I didn’t want to let it go. And maybe I don’t have to. I’ll definitely watch the author’s YouTube videos and pay closer attention to her presence on screen. Overall, I believe she did a really good job of connecting daily moments and Bible moments, so much so that I feel like buying a Bible today. I used to own one, and even started reading it, but I wasn’t so into reading it from start to finish. I think I will follow Yvonne’s advice and just read whichever parts speak to me in the moment, or open it at a random page and analyze whatever I stumble upon. All that to say that Yvonne Orji delivered here an absolute gem that I look forward to rereading in the future (this time with highlighters!)

Thank you Hachette Book Group Canada for the copy in exchange for an honest review!

Kid Gloves: Nine Months of Careful Chaos – Lucy Knisley

Kid Gloves: Nine Months of Careful Chaos by Lucy Knisley

My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Received: Raincoast Books
Published: February 26th, 2019
Publisher: First Second Books
Recommended Age: 13+
Genres & Themes: Adult, Graphic Memoir, Nonfiction, Pregnancy

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REVIEW:

Woah. This book feels like a GAME-CHANGER. And maybe it is, who knows, I sure don’t know many graphic novels mainly about pregnancy so this may just be one of the firsts of its kind. And maybe there will be more in the future, only time will tell. Wouldn’t that be amazing, though?

Review: Ugly by Robert Hoge

Ugly by Robert Hoge

My rating: 3 of 5 stars
Received: Random House Canada
Publication Date: September 6th, 2016
Publisher: Viking Books for Young Readers
Point of View: 1st Person & Masculine
Recommended Age: 8+
Pacing: Normal
Genres & Themes: Middle Grade, Contemporary, Non Fiction, Memoir, Beauty, Bullying

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BLURB:

When Robert Hoge was born, he had a tumor the size of a tennis ball in the middle of his face and short, twisted legs. Surgeons removed the tumor and made him a new nose from one of his toes. Amazingly, he survived with a face that would never be the same.

Strangers stared at him. Kids called him names, and adults could be cruel, too. Everybody seemed to agree that he was ugly. But Robert refused to let his face define him. He played pranks, got into trouble, had adventures with his big family, and finally found a sport that was perfect for him to play. AndRobert came face to face with the biggest decision of his life, he followed his heart.

This poignant memoir aboutovercoming bullying andthriving with disabilitiesshows that what makes us ugly also makes us who we are. It features a reflective foil cover and black-and-white illustrations throughout.