By the Time You Read This I’ll Be Dead – Julie Anne Peters

I don’t know why we read some authors and not others. I don’t know how our minds process the decision to give one book our time and not another equally interesting novel. Sometimes it’s about hype, popularity, genre, subject-matter, length, age group, familiarity with the author, mood—a lot of different factors come into play. But what I’ve learned is that it’s never too late to embark on a journey to discover a new-old author. New to us, old to the literary world.

I’m saying this because Julie Anne Peters is an established, bestselling and award-winning author who has been writing for decades. And yet, I only ‘‘discovered’’ her last month after getting my hands on Define ‘‘Normal.’’ Discovered is probably not the right word to use, just like Christopher Columbus didn’t actually ‘‘discover’’ America. It was already there and known to its populations. Maybe “coming into contact with’’ is a better way to say it. Coming into contact with Julie Anne Peters’ writing has done me a lot of good.

This particular title deals with very heavy issues, such as depression, bullying, suicide, sexual assault and abuse. The main character, Daelyn Rice, was told again and again by the people she encountered that she wasn’t good enough, skinny enough, valuable enough and that she never would be. She began to internalize those thoughts and now she doesn’t know how to cope, how to go on, how to defend herself and speak up about her struggles. So why bother being on this earth longer? In less than a month, she’ll be gone and, for the first time in who knows how long, she’ll be happy.

This is not the kind of story one should read if one feels down. It is a ‘‘low energy’’ type of story and while I’m sure you’re not surprised to hear that, it’s still worth mentioning because if you’re in a bad mood or depressed yourself, this book can be a real trigger. Two months ago, this book would have triggered me for real. But today, I was able to read it and definitely connect with Daelyn, without letting it affect my mood too heavily. If you do not believe you can stomach a book such as this one right now, I recommend picking up Peters’ Define ‘‘Normal’’ instead and leaving this for when the time is right. The right time will come.

Thank you Hachette Book Group Canada for the copy in exchange for a review.

Little Weirds – Jenny Slate

This book is weird. I’m sure you saw that coming a little—what with that title and all—but it’s good to repeat because it truly is Weird with a capital w. Not just because Jenny Slate’s writing is uncharacterizable. Something between poetry and prose, making me wonder if this was a memoir or collection of poetry. Or both? But also because of the highly sexual and tremendously unexpected imagery. The kind that makes you wonder if a human being wrote this or a half-human, half-giraffe with an addiction for chocolate poutine and a need to externalize every single one of their half-human, half-giraffe thoughts.

If your instinct tells you—shit, this review is getting really weird and I don’t think I have the stomach for it—please do exit on your left. But if you are intrigued, please proceed, continue, go ahead, have fun, enjoy your moments of imaginary bliss and disconnection from human life, in favour of papery disillusion and a not-drug-induced cheeseburger atmosphere.

You might, at some point, actually wonder what the hell I’m talking about. Who the hell is this Jenny Slate whose writing seems to have completely taken over my brain and destroyed my coherent cells and turned me into an ice cream cone collecting food from the sky. Well, you would be very right in wondering that, and certainly at times I did ask myself the same thing about Jenny Slate herself. But then my infected brain realized that to understand the incomprehensible, one must become incomprehensible in return and let our minds be attacked by the crazy.

In all seriousness, I seriously enjoyed this. It is an experiencefirst and foremost. BUT, and here’s the thing that surprised me the most, Jenny Slate had some actually meaningful and insightful things to say through the vacuum of weird thoughts. And the good thing is that, because they were so unexpected, most of them stood out like a naked Barbie doll on the cover of a book in a room full of horny teenagers (that did happen, everyone was staring, it was a real social experiment). Here is one such quote for you to admire and ponder:

I jumped out of their hands and into their mouths and I yelled EAT ME way before they even had a chance to get horny and notice me and lift me up. – page 41

You might reconsider your subscription to my blog after reading that. Really, that’s what she considers worth admiring and pondering? Okay, chill, I can’t write down the entire mind-shattering context, but really think about it before jumping off your horse. When I read that, I immediately thought of how hard I try in friendships. How desperate I am to have a meaningful connection that I don’t let anyone really miss me or want me, maybe because I’m scared that if I give them too much space, I’m also giving them too much opportunity to completely forget about me. But that’s something I’ll be discussing with my therapist.

Cheers.

(Oh, yes, and please read this book because I loved it.)

Thank you Hachette Book Group Canada for allowing me to experience Jenny Slate in exchange for what you probably wished was more comprehensible of a review, but I hope you will forgive me.

Someone Else’s Summer – Rachel Bateman

Annie’s sister—the authentic and fearless Storm—dies in a car accident, leaving behind a devastated family… and a list of things to accomplish. Wanting to honour her sister’s memory and get out of her comfort zone, Annie embarks on a road trip with her childhood friend Cameron in the hopes of checking off every item on the list.

The list is actually the least memorable aspect of this story. What I loved most was seeing Annie and Cameron’s relationship unfold. Because Annie’s parents are grieving and absent, she has quite a lot of freedom to basically do whatever she wishes… as long as Cameron is also okay with it. He is the wisest of the two of them, so she is in good hands and unlikely to get away with too much.

I found Rachel Bateman’s writing very engaging and the storyline to move along nicely without being too predictable. In an interview with the author at the end of this novel, she actually mentions that she is a dedicated story outliner and I could certainly tell. A less than perfect aspect in this novel is the openness and niceness of the people Annie and Cameron meet. It’s not realistic.

Everyone treats them like they’re friends or family: worthy of attention, patience and care and that’s just not realistic. Someone vouches for them at the hotel; strangers hug Annie and show concern. I understand that her sister died and Cameron probably told a lot of people what their circumstances are, but she’s not the only one with a dead family member so I found the amount of love thrown their way to be idealistic.

Other than that, there is a lot of growing up being done and grieving as well. I’m really glad Annie had Cameron to help her; she especially did not deserve to be alone after her parents started physically and emotionally withdrawing from her. Truth is grief messes people up, it does, but it can heal over time, and Bateman captured that well enough.

Thank you Hachette Book Group Canada for the copy in exchange for a review.

The Silver Arrow – Lev Grossman

If I had a daughter or son or non-binary child, I would immediately find a perfect warm moment to read this book with them. And I mean ‘‘with them.’’ I would totally make them read a couple of passages and I’d pause on all the images, which are quite heart-warming and beautifully done.

This is the kind of story that feels like a classic. You’ve never read it before, and it doesn’t feel like you have necessarily when you do, but it does feel right. Like this was a story that was meant to be written and told and that belongs in the world of children’s literature. Certainly some aspects have been explored before, and of course talking animals are quite popular in kids’ stories, but there is still a lot about it that is different and surprising. It made me think that trains should be more present in these books, as they can surprisingly be very enchanting.

This is the kind of writing style that is completely engaging. There’s actually something I really like about it and simultaneously dislike: It seems so casual, as though the narrator is telling a story that is coming to their mind, in a very natural way. On the other hand, it seems so natural that it doesn’t feel edited at times. Charlotte’s Web is, I think, one of the best edited children’s books of all times, and it still reads ‘‘natural’’ and works for its audience, engages it. So yes, at times I did wish it had felt less ‘‘casual’’ and more, well, professional. But the story is so interesting and the characters so memorable that, in most cases, it’s easy to overlook and just go with it.

I want to congratulate the author, who is best known for his adult bestselling books, for giving children literature a try, and doing a pretty fantastic job at it, too. I am already looking forward to the sequel, supposedly coming out in May 2022.

Thank you Hachette Book Group Canada for the title in exchange for a review.

The Defining Decade (Updated Edition) – Meg Jay

This is my second time reading Meg Jay’s book written for twenty-year-olds, but my first time trying the updated edition. The first time I read it – over a year ago – was around the beginning of the lockdown and my future was more uncertain than ever. I really needed this book. Life has not necessarily gone to ‘‘normal’’ yet: in-person learning has not started yet, the mask is still a must, 2 m distance a necessity and social events have not all been translated to in person. But I am in a better place with regards to how I feel about my future. I’m still uncertain about it – and I do wish I could change that since I’m graduating soon – but I am feeling more hopeful about the choices that I will have to make and feel more ready to make them.

This book helped me feel more confident about where I am and validated my feelings of not knowing where I belong, where I’m meant to go and with whom I’m meant to connect. A lot of twentysomethings, as Dr. Jay states, are confused. Not only that, but she says that confusion is pretty normal at this state of our lives, when our brains are not even fully developed yet and possibly won’t be until we turn thirty. That is a scary thing to hear but also liberating in a way. It means that chances are I’m going to remain confused for quite a bit about various things. But the good thing about it is that there is so much I, and every other twenty-four-year-old, can learn in this period. According to Meg Jay, this is the it period where if we want to change something about ourselves – our personalities – we just might and it doesn’t have to take everything from us to do that.

Initially, when I read the unedited edition, I felt like the twenties were the worst period to be in. Possibly because I’m mentally healthier and more positive about the present and future, I feel differently about my twenties. When I read it the first time, I focused on everything I didn’t have – hadn’t graduated yet, hadn’t started my master’s, didn’t feel hopeful about dating, was still friends with people I should have moved on from a long time ago, felt a lot of anxiety about the day-to-day life and was working somewhere that brought me little to no happiness anymore. I was a mess, truly. I’m cleaning myself up, and guess what, I can do that because my brain is receptive to change. I’m finishing my master’s in less than a year, planning to move out of my mom’s place and hoping to get involved in clubs and associations to make more social memories before getting my diploma. I’m in a period of transition – like a lot of twenty-year-olds are, and although that’s super scary, it’s completely normal and I’m ready to face my fears.

Thank you Hachette Book Group Canada for the copy in exchange for an honest review.

The Hero Code – Admiral Willian H. McRaven

Humor is one of the most important qualities for any hero. If you want to show courage, laugh in the face of danger. If you want to show humility, laugh at yourself.

This is exactly the kind of book that I needed right now, a book that would encourage me to be stronger, to be moral and to choose happiness every day. I can be quick to anger, sensitive and sometimes it’s just really hard to choose happiness, to smile, to forgive, especially when the other person never apologized and never asked for me to forgive them. It’s been especially hard during this pandemic. It felt like before there were so many distractions, and if I wasn’t studying or working, then I was reading and so I rarely took the time to think about my actions and wonder if I am who I aim to be and if I do any good in this world.

Admiral William H. McRaven challenges us to be strong, to not give in or give up. He is spot on on a lot of things, especially when he discusses what drives us and motivates us. It’s true that in some cases, anger, resentment and other negative emotions can push us to do something, to act, and the things we accomplish with those emotions can sometimes be good, but these feelings will not do us any good in the long run. Change, action, has to come from a good place, a positive place, and we need to let ourselves be motivated by things like hope, faith, love, kindness. It’s a hard thing to do. I wholly believe that happiness is a choice, as is goodness, as is love and everything else. As the author said, sometimes it’s easier to let ourselves be led by our negative emotions and our impulses but if we follow his established Hero Code, we might just become stronger and lead a more meaningful life. We might become heroes ourselves.

One thing that I really like about this author is that he doesn’t distinguish between heroes. Yes, some people have qualities that allow for greater change, but it doesn’t mean that this person is better than any other or a stronger hero. There needs not be a hierarchy of heroes. Like the Avengers, there are many of them, and individually they can all make quite a lot of noise and turn things around, but they act together for a reason, and the people who do the administrative tasks, in the background, are heroes too. I used to think that to make an impact on this planet I needed to go to the best school, get the highest of degrees and the best of jobs and volunteer at the best of organizations, but maybe I need to rethink all of that and remove some of that pressure I put on myself. The one thing Admiral McRaven mentions that’s probably the hardest to accomplish is the idea of giving without expecting anything in return. Because, truth is, over time, not receiving anything can be frustrating and lead to resentment. But there’s also the chance that we might not receive exactly what we’ve given, but something else entirely. Above all, the truest of heroes acts out of a sense of duty.

Here are the themes he discusses which make The Hero Code:

1. Courage

2. Humility

3. Sacrifice

4. Integrity

5. Compassion

6. Perseverance

7. Duty

8. Hope

9. Humor

10. Forgiveness

Absolutely recommended, unless for some reason you cannot stand war stories.

You Will Know Me – Megan Abbott

Megan Abbott is scary. It’s not usual for me to be scared of a writer—a person—after reading their work, but Abbott has such a way—a natural way—of creating an ominous atmosphere in her novels that I have no idea how it would feel to be in her presence and that’s scary. I’d probably be super nervous and still and captivated… and more.

Abbott is also scary because she doesn’t care about doing what is expected, making her characters feel what would be socially acceptable for them to feel—or say, or do. The good thing about this is that she cannot be predicted, and her stories make you a little obsessed. Not the kind of obsessed that makes you feel like you simply have to read this in one sitting, and cannot let go of it, but the kind of obsessed that, whether you’re reading it or not, you’re thinking about it still.

I have this theory that the best way to create atmosphere in your stories is to try to feel yourself what the characters do and picture in your mind the sort of vibe you want any scene to have and really feel it, conjure it inside of you in some way. So, if I’m happy, I won’t write about unhappy characters, or if I’m self-conscious I’m not going to write about confident heroines. Maybe there’s no correlation between our own mood, personality, demeanour and the characters we write about, but if there is then let’s just say that if I’m ever in the same room as Megan Abbott, I’ll seriously take note of the nearest exit. Just in case.

This is my second book from her – after Dare Me – and I am very excited about reading more. Thank goodness there is more! The good thing about being familiar with someone’s writing style is that you know what to look forward to (and not) and when is the best time for you to pick up their books. For instance, if I’m feeling particularly nervous about something in my life, perhaps I would do best to pick up a light contemporary romance from Kasie West. Megan Abbott’s books are for when you want to feel, when you don’t mind being in a sort of trance and when you’re okay with being aware of your blood crawling inside of you.

I mean, Stephen King blurbed this book, what did you expect? Have fun.

Thank you Hachette Book Group Canada for the copy in exchange for a review.

Trinkets – Kristen Smith

I love it. I love when a book that seems not to work for a ton of people ends up being the right fit for me. This book has pretty low ratings on Goodreads, and yet I could not help myself from requesting it. Normally, low ratings would discourage me from doing that, but the premise and TV show tie-in cover gripped my interest. Not to mention that this is a Little, Brown Books for Young Readers publication and in the past very few of those have let me down. Fun fact: I hope to get a book published by them in the future. I don’t know who edits these stories but they are doing a great job.

With this particular title, it’s definitely the original execution that kept me engaged the most. The plot is not necessarily new—though I certainly liked the idea of three girls befriending each other in a Shopaholic Anonymous group. Other than that, it deals with basic high school, boy and friendship drama. It’s not the most self-aware book either, with aggression, bullying and disrespect being made light of at times. I’m still on the fence about Moe’s love interest, who gives her attention when they’re alone but completely disregards her when they’re in public. That’s some shitty behavior right there and not something I felt Moe should have put up with at any point.

At the same time, it’s a very readable book. There are three narrators: Elodie expresses herself through poetry, Tabitha through blog posts-type chapters and Moe through diary entries. It’s a fast-paced story, and as cliché as it can get at times, it does deal with realistic issues that teens may go through in their daily lives. Frankly, I’ve never read a story about teen shoplifters before, and yet they do exist. Similarly, the concept of rehabilitation isn’t given a lot of attention in YA and doesn’t have the best reputation, and yet the author managed to make it seem worthwhile and… exciting. A rehab-centered group can become a place where you not only get to discuss something that others may judge you for in the outside world, but also to make friends and generally connect with people who are going through the same thing you are—thus making you feel less alone in the process.

I was taken by surprise by one of the three girls’ secret, which I absolutely did not see coming. Now it makes me want to watch the Netflix series as well, see how the girls and their addiction translates to the screen. TRINKETS is at times fun, at times dramatic, or sad, but never a bookish regret.

Thank you Hachette Book Group Canada for the copy in exchange for a review.

My Last Summer with Cass – Mark Crilley

I love a story told through good art. I love it even more when the story is as good as the art. Such is the case here. Megan and Cass are two childhood friends who share a passion for making art. They meet every summer, along with their families, at a cottage, where they unleash their creativity in different ways. But Cass’s family falls apart, and those summers are no more. The girls grow apart for a bit, then reunite in New York, the place where dreams come true and every artist can find a home. While Cass seems to have figured out the type of artist she is and where she belongs and with whom, Megan is still unsure of who she is meant to be. Terribly afraid of disappointing her parents, especially her dad, she holds back and plays it safe. Cass can see through her friend, can see her buried need to express her true self, and pushes Megan to dig deeper and be braver. All is well… until she pushes too far, too soon.

I related to this story a lot, especially to Megan’s character. I think we’re all forced to grow up one day or another, but for some of us it takes time. If Cass hadn’t been there to introduce her best friend to new things and show her a side of the world she hadn’t seen before, who knows when Megan would have had the chance to experience these new things. Or maybe she would have, but with the wrong crowd, someone who doesn’t have her back. Cass’ aggressive way of throwing new things at Megan did rub me the wrong way, because I wonder, can you really force growth? Isn’t it supposed to happen naturally, over time? More importantly, should you force it? Too much, too soon can be overwhelming for someone who has lived a fairly sheltered life and has only just recently started voicing her own opinions and standing up for herself. The truth is that, whether you agree with Cass’ actions or not, and Megan’s responses to these actions, you are at least sure to be emotionally affected by them because the author and illustrator draws with intent and meaning. I was glued to this graphic novel until the very end. Con: I finished it in 15 minutes. Pro: Those were some intense 15 minutes that I wouldn’t mind repeating.

Thank you Hachette Book Group Canada for the copy in exchange for a review.

The Last Beautiful Girl – Nina Laurin

After reading Horrid by Katrina Leno (whom I’ll be interviewing soon on my blog) I was ready for more gothic stories. Unfortunately, Nina Laurin has nothing on Katrina Leno. There certainly are gothic elements in this story, such as a dark, secluded mansion, ghosts, creepy hidden rooms, disappearances and deaths. BUT, one cannot solely rely on elements pertaining to a theme or genre to make the latter come alive. The main reason why, even though there is creepiness in this story, it never truly feels CREEPY to the reader (or to me) is because there is very little atmosphere.

Don’t get me wrong. I was mildly entertained and I was certainly happy to be reading a novel by an author living in Montreal and who went to Concordia (whose Webster Library, by the way, is *chef’s kiss!). I really was looking forward to seeing what Nina Laurin had to offer and went into this book with the best of intentions and attitude. Nina Laurin has a very accessible writing style that I find appropriate for teens and engaging as well. She wrote here a fast-paced story that, despite lacking atmosphere, did include enough mystery content and drama to keep me want to keep reading. If you like super dramatic stories, this one can be for you.

I think one of the main reasons why it lacked atmosphere was because of the characters. They all pretty much seemed to be one-dimensional, and while that’s appropriate in this case when considering the storyline—a girl dying to be someone and have more attention creates an Instagram account with the help of an aspiring photographer and together they take lavish, glamorous, mature, sexy pictures that generate the account lots of followers—I think the author could have gone deeper. Could have made us understand the depth of Isa’s pain and Alexa’s skill better, so that even if they remain selfish and vain, we understand where those weaknesses come from better. I also think that this story could have benefitted from some slowing down. As I mentioned, it is pretty fast-paced and that’s basically always, even during moments that would have impacted me better if they had had more slow-burning intensity.

To recapitulate, I was entertained by this fast-paced novel that did have some engaging elements, but overall it’s a story that I will forget in a few weeks and whose characters have not managed to steal my heart in any way. If everyone had died at the end, I would not have shed any tears.

Thank you Raincoast Books for the copy in exchange for a review. On sale September 2021!