I’d Tell You I Love You, But Then I’d Have to Kill You – Ally Carter

852470I’d Tell You I Love You, But Then I’d Have to Kill You by Ally Carter

My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Received: Bought
Published: 2006
Publisher: Disney-Hyperion
Recommended Age: 11+
Genres & Themes: Young Adult, Friendship, Adventure, Boarding School, Romance


I can’t believe it had been four years since I last read this book. It’s a shock because four years ago my life was different than it is today and so was I. I couldn’t wait to reread this book, not just because I had missed it but also to see how I would react to it now that I’m four years older and with more experiences behind me.

It was different. When I read this book for the first and second times, I was like Cammie. Well, I had seen regular boys in my daily life, and talked with some, but I was spending more time with female friends and I had little to no experience in the romantic department with boys. But, well, this time around, I had some of that. So I did see Cammie’s relationship with Josh to be more juvenile.

During my other readings of this book I found their interactions to be oh so adorable, and combined with the spy stuff, it really made this book seem exciting, original and memorable. Now, though, I thought more about Cammie’s living a double life and creating herself a seemingly perfect and normal family. She has a secret she can’t tell this new person she wants to know better and cares about. She lies to him continuously.

Four years ago, I thought, ”Well yeah she does lie and she is not being herself in this relationship but that doesn’t mean it can’t be real and last.” This time, more mature me thought, ”Well they’re having fun and making lovely memories but a relationship that starts with a lie and continues with lies cannot survive. Someone will get hurt. And someone will always be in the dark – Josh – since Cammie cannot tell him the truth. They cannot have an open and honest relationship.”

Crazy, isn’t it, how we can see something one way during a certain stage in our lives and see it another way during another one.


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3 thoughts on “I’d Tell You I Love You, But Then I’d Have to Kill You – Ally Carter

  1. This was one of my favorite series as a teen and I would love to go back and reread it now too. I’m sure my opinion would change a bit just as yours has! My favorite book from the series was always the second one though. 🙂


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