The Defining Decade – Meg Jay

The Defining Decade
The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter—And How to Make the Most of Them Now by Meg Jay

My rating: 4 of 5 stars
Received: Hachette Book Group Canada
Published: 2012
Publisher: Twelve
Recommended Age: 16+
Genres & Themes: Adult, Nonfiction, Psychology, Work & Love, Personal Growth


This is a fascinating and informative psychology book. I couldn’t have chosen a better moment to read it – I was in the right mood for it and I needed it, besides.

I am turning twenty-three in June. I’m happy with the number and where I am currently in my life, though it’s hard to believe sometimes that I started reviewing books at sixteen and here we are today.

I especially needed to read this book because, honestly, sometimes I don’t know if I’m wasting my twenties or doing something really good for my future. With this book, I was looking for either confirmation or ways to improve my twenties.

I’m finishing my bachelor’s this semester, then starting a master’s in the fall. I’ve been working pretty much without break for five years and sometimes I like to plan ahead so much that I’m wondering whether I’m enjoying my twenties enough.

Well, according to Meg Jay, I’m fine. At least in the work department. She explains that our twenties basically set the tone for our thirties and later. That there is tremendous potential for change during this period of our lives and that if we play our cards right, right now, we will soar in our futures.

But if we spend our twenties out in bars or going from job to job—the kind that has no link to our future careers—we will spend our later years making up for this wandering around.

She also discusses love. Apparently, one must plan when they want to have a kid in their twenties and understand the risks of wanting one in our thirties or forties. On this topic, she became personally invested so I call bias since she clearly had a point she wanted to prove at all costs, but what she says makes sense, biologically speaking. More chances of falling pregnant in our twenties and not miscarrying.

Bottom line: It would be a good idea for me to be in a relationship soon, not just because I need to start thinking about the possibility of a future family but also because, according to this book, people who commit are happier.

That is pressure right there. I cannot focus on developing a meaningful relationship with someone while going to university full time and working part time and still having time for my hobbies.

This is more information than I needed to share but I also don’t think I’m the only one going through something like this and while I quite enjoyed reading this book, I don’t believe one should rush to check every item Meg Jay suggests one should accomplish during their twenties.



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